so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
