Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
