Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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