Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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