Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
