I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
