Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He better not be in your backpack
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
