We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
