At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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