Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
