I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
