He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
