Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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