nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
