two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm both gender and math confused
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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