ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
