guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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