it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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