id be glad to
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
