Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
