Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
