I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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