The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
