You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
