After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
