Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
