I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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