do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize