id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
