Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
