no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
