one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
