i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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