In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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