he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
