I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize