I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
