yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
