If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
