a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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