I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
