Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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