I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
