I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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