did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
honey bunches of taint.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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