YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I feel like abortions should bother me more
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
