I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
