At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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