Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
