well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize