At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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