talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
