True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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