i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
