OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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