And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
