erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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