It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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