I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
