I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
