after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
