i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
