One girl and one boy is just not enough.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
