no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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