i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
