I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
