weddingsv make me drug and hornr
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
